The Invisible Mentor

Posts Tagged ‘Nelson Mandela’

10 Self-Mentoring Ideas from Deborah Nixon

1. Build a network of contacts who you can call on, and take the time to nurture those relationships.
2. Your relationship with people is absolutely everything.
3. Follow your passion. If you’re sensible about it, usually takes you to a really good place.
4. If you come from a place of integrity, honour and humility people respond to that.
5. Most of us can survive almost anything.
6. You have to read your market very well, and be willing to change and adjust your offering because you cannot convince the market. The market is what the market is, and you have to be open to letting go.
7. When we go into things, and we assume that what we’re trying to get out of something is what the other person wants to get out of it as well, we often do not check with the other person, we don’t question assumptions, and sometimes it’s wishful thinking because we want something so badly that we won’t look critically and won’t ask the tough questions.
8. If you have resiliency it gets you really far in life.
9. Integrity is all about what you do when nobody is looking.
10. Pay attention to where things are going and read widely.

Invisible Mentor: Deborah Nixon, President/Founder

Company Name: Trust Learning Solutions, MyMoneyMindset

Website: http://www.trustlearningsolutions.com 

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Deborah Nixon:  My area of specialization is working with leadership teams in organizations trying to build better relationships, conflict resolution, and actually to help them work more effectively together. I have another business which is quite interesting as well called My Money Mindset. I work with women helping them to look at psychological issues toward money.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Deborah Nixon: They’re intertwined, they integrate well. I think when your work is your passion, when you’re doing your work it doesn’t feel like work. I love what I do so the integration is very smooth. Maybe because I work in the area of trust, and for me it’s something that I speak to my son a lot about and the way in which I live my life and model my behaviour. It’s a pretty seamless thing.

 Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it? 

Deborah Nixon: One of the things I do is go on retreats – that is probably the foundational thing that I do and it’s so important to me. Every quarter for three to four days I go on a retreat, and once a year, I go from seven to 10 days. On a regular basis, I try to stay away from TV and the media, and I walk with my dog.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Deborah Nixon:

1. The importance of resiliency and I teach it to my son. I think if you have resiliency it gets you really far.
2. Have a great respect for people’s journey.
3. When bad things happen we have a moral obligation to grow something good out of that.
4. There is no shortcut around working really hard.
5. If you’re not doing what you’re passionate about you really won’t be successful. Being a success requires hard work and is all about resiliency.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Deborah Nixon: I go on retreats. I’m most creative when I’m on a retreat. The process there is a silent retreat how I have no connection to the internet, there is no TV no newspapers, no radio, it’s just you and the silence and nature. And so much happens.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Deborah Nixon: It’s my own quotation and I know it sounds egotistical, but it is the one that I live by. “Integrity is all about what you do when nobody is looking.” It’s my favourite quote because it’s the measure I use to evaluate other people and it’s part of my work, and it’s part of my philosophy.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Deborah Nixon: Success to me is twofold and believe it or not I do think there is an element of financial success in there. For me success is doing important work that allows you to achieve a certain level of survival and comfort. So although it’s important to follow your passion, it’s not helpful if it doesn’t generate any income for you because you won’t be following your passion for very long. The formula for success is to find what you love and be really strategic about how you can make a living from it. The key to that is developing a solid network.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Deborah Nixon: I was always a very great networker very early on so I’ve built an incredible network, and what’s good about that is that there are always people to reach out to for advice, to check your ideas. You asked me earlier if I had a mentor and I don’t have a single mentor but I have an unbelievable network, and my network is very wide so some of the steps I took were: (1) I listened and paid attention to where I excelled in my career so I knew what I was good at and not good at and then I decided on what I needed to do so I decided to get my Masters and PhD. All along the way, I built the network, and my network is very wide so I spoke to people who were successful to find out what they did to learn from them about what it took and what they did, and to really engage people in my journey. So the step I took was really making connections.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Deborah Nixon: Focus on building your network and pay attention to what’s happening in the field, not only what’s going on today, but pay attention to where things are going. Read widely, I’m a great believer in reading, think carefully and project where things are going because things are changing so quickly.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Deborah Nixon:

1. I would love to meet Nelson Mandela. I have great respect for him, what would I say to him? I would say, “Thank you!” I would thank him for his commitment and his belief in his mission.
2. I would like believe it or not to meet Bernie Madoff. I’m very fascinated by his fraud and I would like to ask him about his process to do what he did and why he did it.
3. I would also like to meet Mother Teresa because she is a great inspiration for people who have a bigger mission outside themselves.
4. I would like to meet a group called the Desert Fathers and Mothers who lived in the fourth century. These are people who left society to live in the desert. I’d like to ask them about what they heard out there and what the lessons are.
5. The last person I’d like to meet is Bill Clinton because he survived a scandal, and he was someone who was a trusted leader. I’d like to talk to him about the experience

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Deborah Nixon: The book is The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion. Joan Didion is a well-known American writer whose husband dropped dead suddenly right in front of her while they were having dinner in front of their fireplace. She wrote a book about the year following his death, and it had a great impact on me because she was very real and authentic about the craziness, the insanity when someone close to you dies.

Avil Beckford: You are one of the 10 finalists on the reality show, So, How Would You Spend Your Time? Each finalist is placed on separate deserted islands for two years. You have a basic hut on the island and all the tools for survival; you just have to be imaginative and inventive when using them. You are allowed to take five books, one movie and one music CD, and whatever else you take has to fit in one suitcase and a travel on case. What would you take with you and how would you spend the two years? T he prize is worth your while and at this stage in the game there really aren’t any losers among the 10 finalists, since each are guaranteed at least $2 million?

Deborah Nixon: If I’m stuck on a deserted island I would need something to make me laugh.

Two Years

I would do what I do when I’m on a retreat. I would write the book I’ve been wanting to write. I would write and reflect and I would always workout and I would swim. I would come out with my book on trust.

Five Books

1. The Desert Fathers
2. The Year of Magical Thinking
3. Long Walk to Freedom: The Autobiography of Nelson Mandela

These are inspirational books and books of the soul. The other two books are The Bible and a Jamie Oliver Cookbook (Jamie Oliver’s Meals in Minutes: A Revolutionary Approach to Cooking Good Food Fast).

Music CD & Movie

The CDs I would take are by Snow Patrol (Fallen Empires [Deluxe Edition]) and also another group Guster (Ganging Up on the Sun), which is not well-known. Those two groups make me feel very good. I am moved by music and their music is different and creative and puts me into a good space.  I would take Something’s Gotta Give because Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson in the movie make me laugh and I can relate to it. It’s a middle aged couple who find romance with each other and I like movies like this one because they are authentic and you look at it and go, “That’s me”.

Snow Patrol – In The End

Cannot view this video, click here. Published on Jan 13, 2012 by SnowPatrolVEVO

Guster – Do You Love Me

Cannot view this video, click here. Uploaded by GusterVEVO on Sep 13, 2010

Something’s Gotta Give – Trailer

Cannot view this video, click here. Uploaded by TheMovieSceneUK on Jul 20, 2010

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Deborah Nixon: The possibilities. I’m a very hopeful person and I always expect something exciting and special to happen down the road. And what’s exciting is that we’re in more control than we think. And even when we get upset and think about why something happened, we have a lot of power to change our direction. And I think that’s really exciting.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Deborah Nixon: Going on retreats. I’m very spiritual and I nurture my soul through my faith and it’s very important to me.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Deborah Nixon: Oh my God I’d wish for money! I would wish for a lot of money so I could do my work for free. There are so many people who I know I can help who can’t afford to pay me and the reality of life is that the bank wants their mortgage payment. So I would like money, I’d like a benefactor who would give me enough money so that I can live on, so I can take my work out to the community, to people who can’t pay me.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Deborah Nixon: I’m on a retreat – that’s my happiest moment.

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Mentor Yourself: Interview With Invisible Mentor Julie Daniluk

Interviewee Name: Julie Daniluk, Nutritionist, Motivational Speaker, Writer, TV Host

Company Name: Daniluk Consulting

Website: http://www.juliedaniluk.com/, http://www.ownca.oprah.com/Shows/Healthy-Gourmet.aspx  

To get the most from The Invisible Mentor Interview with Julie Daniluk, while you are reading it, answer the following questions:

1. Are their similarities between the Julie Daniluk and yourself?
2. In what ways can you use the information?
3. In what ways would you respond differently from the interviewee?
4. What are your five takeaways from the interview?
5. After reading the interview, what is one concrete action you can take? 

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Julie Daniluk:  I’m a real foodie so I’m passionate about helping people have a connection to their food because it’s beyond food, it becomes every cell in your body, and it’s the building block that we use to recreate ourselves, and that’s why I’m so passionate about food.  I’m a nutritionist, author about food, and TV host of the Healthy Gourmet for the Oprah Winfrey Network. I love food, and giving that information to the world. I define myself as a food advocate.

Host of Healthy Gourmet (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Julie Daniluk: I married my work with my passion so that there is no separation. There is no beginning of my workday and I have enrolled my husband in these awesome healthy ways that I have that team of contributions that he’s onboard that some days I have to work a 14-hour day. But instead of him becoming resentful of that he is right with me. On television days I used to have a personal assistant and instead of having a personal assistant, Allan has chosen to be with me on set. By removing the I’m on and I’m off stage, now I’m just in my flow and I have so much fun in both worlds that I’m able to be where I am and more present. Before, when I was at work I was texting family, and when I was with my family I was always working, so I’m trying to have more of an integrated life. 

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it? 

Julie Daniluk: I travel because I have to get out of my regular workflow. When I travel it’s a great opportunity to say the phone’s off, the email is off and really take time to be outside the regular life. I love to travel and I love photography and I love the ocean so I do a lot of scuba diving.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Julie Daniluk:

1. To breathe: I breathe every morning and every minute of the day. I breathe in the morning with incredible awareness, that’s my meditative practice. I breathe in for five seconds and I breathe out for 10 seconds. By counting my breath I become aware of my aliveness.
2. How you do anything is how you do everything: That’s a huge one for me because how I answer the phone, to how I was committed to being on the call with you right at 10 O’clock this morning, to how I respond when a waiter has come to the table with the wrong order, how I respond to that person and treat them with love and respect plays out into every area of my life. I realize that we are in one big sandbox.
3. Connect and be the cause in the matter: If you have a complaint, get underneath the complaint and decide what you are committed to, and be the cause in the matter to shift that so that you’re never feeling like a victim in any circumstance.
4. The love you make is equal to the love you receive: The love you make is equal to the love you take is a quote taken from the Beatles song The End.
5. Be authentic: If you can be with someone, and let go of looking good, and let go of trying to do it right, then often you can stand in present with them. And in that presence is life. It’s really what you came for.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Julie Daniluk: They come to me at really funny times. I actually get most of my great ideas in the shower. I try to capture them on my phone or in my day timer the second I get out of the shower. I have a master board in my office which is a large piece of paper. I used to work with a white board but I really like the paper because I like scratching off when I have fulfilled my goal. On that master board I write down any project I want to be doing and then the action points within that project and that means that I don’t have any major thing fall out of existence. So the second you generate that idea how do you bring it into existence because people have brilliant ideas every day.

I also got this idea from Joni Mitchell. I was sitting in a restaurant and two tables over she was celebrating her birthday with her daughter, and she wanted to smoke a cigarette, and she turned to me and said, “Do you have a problem with cigarettes?” And of course the answer is, “Yes, I have a problem with cigarettes,” but I’m not going to have a problem with Joni Mitchell, so I said, “Go ahead.” And she was so happy that I allowed her to smoke in a restaurant which is highly illegal in Toronto so she invites me over to her table and I had an opportunity to ask her a few questions, and the biggest one I asked her was, “How do you generate great ideas?” She is the most prolific artist I have ever thought of, and she said, “I don’t care if it happens while I’m sitting having the most important conversation with the president, I excuse myself, and I jot it down in my personal journal, while going to the washroom. I always excuse myself.” She writes down her idea in her journal, and that’s what helps to put it into existence.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Julie Daniluk: My favourite quotation is from Nelson Mandela’s inaugural speech. It from Marianne Williamson, and it’s “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

I’ve had this quote in my day timer, on a poster in my office. I constantly go over it so that I can help myself get out my own way because this is the most powerful thing you can remember, is that we are powerful beyond measure.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Julie Daniluk: My definition for success is being free to choose your life. A lot of people think of success as the amount of money they have. But money is just the grease of life. The grease is the wheels so that you’re able to choose faster. My formula for success is to build a team, to commit to your world and to have compassion for other people. That team has built my success and I realize that I’m successful because of the incredible affinity I have for the people around me that I love.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Julie Daniluk: This comes from Malcolm Gladwell. One of my favourite books in the world is Outliers: The Story of Success and it speaks to what it takes to be the most successful person in your field, and it takes 10,000 hours. So once you become relaxed in your understanding that it takes 10,000 hours to become brilliant at anything, then you just clock the hours. So I’ve been working in the nutrition field for 16 years so I’ve gone past my 10,000 hours, and just putting one hour after another, is like one foot after another – just clock the hours, just clock the hours. And you will make a breakthrough because the winner is often the last person standing in the field. It’s not often the person who is naturally, brilliantly gifted at something. It’s the person who is willing to stay on the field long enough to win the game.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Julie Daniluk: Immerse yourself in the one area that you want to become highly successful at because we are a generation of wanting to do everything instead of mastering one thing. To get 10,000 hours you have to choose a focus. My focus is food so whatever your area is that you want to focus on, immerse yourself in that completely.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Julie Daniluk:

1. I would love to speak to Gandhi, and I’d love to ask him how he was able to deal with nonviolent communication. I’m still working on being a master of compassion, and to sit with him would be a great honor.
2. I would love to meet Malcolm Gladwell. I feel he is one of the most amazing storytellers. Let’s face it, our lineage of understanding is through storytelling from the dawn of time, and I want to become of the world’s best storyteller. I think he is absolutely brilliant.
3. Michael Pollan is one of my favourite food authors and he is such an incredible investigator. I would love to ask him about nutrition in a deeper way because in his book, In Defense of Food, he actually doesn’t like nutritionists that calculate the calories, fat and the nutrition of the food. He wants people to focus on a more simplistic model. So I would love to be able to ask him how I can be a holistic nutritionist who can do my job, but to bring that beautiful context that he really adds to the table which is to let go of the numbers and just commit to real food for a change.
4. I would love to meet Oprah Winfrey. She is one of my greatest mentors. She stands for so many things that I believe in. If I had a chance to really talk with her, I would say, “How do you handle the rigors of your schedule and always appear to be grateful for every conversation you’re having.” When you go into the public eye, now that I’m a public figure, there are days when people ask you questions that pull energy, and you want to remember at every moment that to give is to get. I could use some words from Oprah to really handle that.
5. I would love to speak to Nelson Mandela because I want to know how he was able to be trapped in a cell for all those years and come out building alliances with people who put him in jail.

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Julie Daniluk: The deepest book I have ever had the chance to read is by my yoga master, Swami Satyananda Saraswati, and it’s A Systematic Course in the Ancient Tantric Techniques of Yoga and Kriya. That book has given me hours of peace, connection and serenity because there is a whole system of a 5000 year old tradition that allows you a way to connect with the higher power. I’m not a religious person, but I’m a person who believes in something beyond myself. This has been an incredible way to tap into that higher source of joy and love that has fueled my whole life. I have been reading this book for about eight years. It’s a massive textbook so you keep on referring to it. Those sorts of books fill me up because they feel like a huge labyrinth of information so you take yourself down different sections because you are ready for them.

Avil Beckford: You are one of the 10 finalists on the reality show, So, How Would You Spend Your Time? Each finalist is placed on separate deserted islands for two years. You have a basic hut on the island and all the tools for survival; you just have to be imaginative and inventive when using them. You are allowed to take five books, one movie and one music CD, and whatever else you take has to fit in one suitcase and a travel on case. What would you take with you and how would you spend the two years? T he prize is worth your while and at this stage in the game there really aren’t any losers among the 10 finalists, since each are guaranteed at least $2 million?

Julie Daniluk:

Two Years

I would use the time to get into the best shape of my life and to have an incredible connection to the island life. I would allow myself time to slow down, for me to completely let go of my schedule and my expectations around what I need to accomplish in a day and be with nature. That’s something that presently on the track I am I don’t have, so it would be an absolute gift to have two years on an island.

Five Books

1. A Systematic Course in the Ancient Tantric Techniques of Yoga and Kriya
2. An Atlas because I would love to be able to study the world and understand the different pieces of the world and get related to the world as a whole.
3. I would take a book on anatomy because I would love to study the anatomy in incredible depth.
4. I would take an incredible survival book that allows you to survive outside, and it has 7,845 useful skills and step-by-step instructions. Everything you need to exist in the wilderness, and it’s called Survival Wisdom & Know How: Everything You Need to Know to Thrive in the Wilderness from the editors of Stackpole Books, and it’s a complete practical volume. It’s everything you have ever wanted to know about survival.
5. The last one would be a book of cooking terms and there are some really great ones. One of the best ones is Larousse Gastronomique: The World’s Greatest Culinary Encyclopedia, Completely Revised and Updated and it’s the world’s greatest culinary encyclopedia.

One Movie, One Music CD

The movie that I would take with me is Forrest Gump (Sapphire Series) [Blu-ray] because I can watch it over and over again where most movies you get exhausted so I wouldn’t want to take a heavy or depressing movie. I would love to take a movie that I could memorize and there are certain sections of Forest Gump that I would actually like to memorize because the wisdom that he has is just so authentic and fun and connected that I find it hilarious and uplifting.  My favourite music CD of all time is Sting, Nothing Like the Sun album. Ever since I was 12 years old I have loved Sting so he is the one person I can listen to over and over again.

Forrest Gump Trailer (Movie release: July 6, 1994)

Cannot view this video? Click here. Uploaded by MickeyToss on Feb 11, 2007

Sting – Be Still My Beating Heart

Cannot view this video? Click here. Uploaded by StingVEVO on Jan 11, 2011

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Julie Daniluk: Connecting to people. That’s the most exciting thing for me.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Julie Daniluk: I nurture by soul by getting very still because the rest of the day I’m moving very quickly. When I can be exceptionally still, I can get in touch with something so much greater, and I start to lose the actual boundaries of my body and feel connected to everything in the world.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Julie Daniluk: I would wish that every person would know that they are actually everyone else in the world. I would remove that mental boundary of people feeling isolated and have everyone relate to everyone else as themselves because if we could have everyone understand that I am You and You are Me, then we would have no war, we would have no greed, and we would have no poverty. I feel that all of the world’s problems would be solved if we could truly lift that selfish ego that thinks that we are just ourselves – that we’re one body moving through space with needs.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Julie Daniluk: I’m happy when connected.

Book links are affiliate links.

Other Interviews and Related Articles

• Booked for Mentoring: Review – Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell
• Mentor Yourself: Interview With Invisible Mentor Julie Daniluk, TV Host, Nutritionist, Motivational Speaker, Writer (theinvisiblementor.com)
• Mentor Yourself – Interview With Invisible Mentor Dan Elash, Principal, Syntient, Part II (theinvisiblementor.com)
• Mentor Yourself – Interview With Invisible Mentor Dan Elash, Principal, Syntient (theinvisiblementor.com)
• Mentor Yourself: Interview With Pauline Crawford, Founder and Chief Executive at Corporate Heart Part II (theinvisiblementor.com)
• Mentor Yourself: Interview With Invisible Mentor Gary Vurnum, Author, Part II (theinvisiblementor.com)
• Mentor Yourself With Nathon Gunn, CEO, Social Game Universe Part II (theinvisiblementor.com)
• Mentor Yourself: Interview With Invisible Mentor Gary Vurnum, Author (theinvisiblementor.com)
• Mentor Yourself: Interview With Invisible Mentor Jo Ann Langer, Senior Level Retail Executive (theinvisiblementor.com)

Wisdom of Life: “Pick the right people to surround yourself with, it will set the bar, encourage and support you. However, if you choose the wrong people, they will bring you down a different path,” Invisible Mentor, Jeanne-Marie Robillard tells her 12-year old son.

Interviews for Mentoring: Key Lessons from Jeanne-Marie Robillard

• Be grateful for what you have in life and count your blessings.
• Prepare for your day the night before, to help to decrease stress the following day.
• Network, network, then network some more, and never let little things such as shyness or “introvertedness” stop you. (Note to self)
• Allow people to get to know the real you.
• People rarely remember what you said to them, but they remember how you made them feel.
• Give a new job sufficient time – at least two years – before you decide if the fit is right

Invisible Mentor: Jeanne-Marie Robillard, Senior Account Executive

Company Name: National Speakers Bureau/Global Speakers Agency

Website: http://www.nsb.com 

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Jeanne-Marie Robillard: I am currently a senior account executive, which is an agent to public personalities and celebrities for their speaking engagements. I’ve been doing that for 11 years. Prior to that, I was an agent to the performing arts community – groups like the National Ballet, Canadian Opera Company, to helping place them into seated environments for audiences to enjoy.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Jeanne-Marie Robillard: It’s not always easy, is it? It’s hard when people are passionate about their work and passionate about their family. I would say that I’m trying as best as I can to compartmentalize tasks, responsibilities, chores, commitments and obligations, so setting time aside to do specific tasks as opposed to running around doing too many things for too many people.

I try to put my phone away at home in the evenings and try not to look at it as often even when I’m tempted to. I log on to the computer and try to get an hour or two later in the evening. I get so much done preparing for the following day that I go into the next day feeling confident to start the day in a safe place if you will.

It’s a constant challenge, and it’s one of the top topics we get asked for speakers, is work-life balance and it will continue to be so as we improve technology.

 Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it? 

Jeanne-Marie Robillard: Entertaining absolutely! I love entertaining. I love to have people over. I love to cook. I love to shop for food. I love everything around food, going to the market etc. Planning a dinner party and setting the table, and picking which guests will love each other, another form of connections. As you can see, I apply that everywhere, and yes that would be my favourite thing and I’d like to record those times in a book as well.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Jeanne-Marie Robillard: It’s a little bit of what I’ve already said.

1. Be honest.
2. Approach life with intent, purpose and meaning.
3. Even if you’re shy or introverted, try your very best to get out and about. Take someone with you if it’s hard. Having another person with you will be the best thing you ever did. They can brag about you, you can’t really brag about yourself because that comes off a little odd. They can pull you away from someone who may not be the person you need to speak to all night if you’re trying to network. They can also be a great support if you’re feeling a little nervous about the experience. So get out and meet as many people as you can. People do want to help each other – inherently it’s human nature. It’s like so many things in life, the more you do, the more you try, the more chances you have on landing on what’s more meaningful for you.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Jeanne-Marie Robillard: I believe we come to better decisions and better results when we do things in a group. Pulling a team together and brainstorming, sending a mass email out to those in your network who have a common experience with what you’re struggling with, reaching out for ideas and bringing those ideas together. I also use the Internet quite extensively and subscribe to many different chats and blogs.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Jeanne-Marie Robillard: That’s hard for me because I live a life that’s filled with quotations because of the people I represent. But if I had to choose one it would be, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel,” Maya Angelou, American Poet.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Jeanne-Marie Robillard: Success is when you’re truly happy doing what you’re doing. When you’re happy with your life, you’re proud of your life. Proud in a good way, that you’re contributing. Contributions to your community, your workplace, your family and your friends are essential to defining success. The formula for success is trying as many things as you can in life. It’s trial and error.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Jeanne-Marie Robillard:

1. Asking a lot of questions to the right people, that means asking questions to a lot of people until you figure out the right people.
2. Taking chances.
3. Staying in a job and seeing it through for at least a good two-year period. I think that’s very important that full cycles be lived. A calendar year is a full cycle, rarely do we start in January so you are landing in the middle somewhere in that second year, so give it the time it deserves, unless it’s clearly for some interpersonal reasons. Give it the time it deserves and give yourself the chance you deserve.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Jeanne-Marie Robillard: I would give the same advice to someone just starting out. I would say, ask around, you can make an educated decision, but once you’ve made that commitment to something, commit to it and give it your best shot. And it also looks a lot better on a resume quite frankly.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Jeanne-Marie Robillard:

1. Maya Angelou
2. Oprah Winfrey
3. Nelson Mandela
4. Madam Michaëlle Jean (I represent her and have met her a handful of times but would love to get to know her better)

They are truly good people making a difference in the world, and I would tell them “Thanks!” I would thank them for their great contributions to bettering the world.

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Jeanne-Marie Robillard:  One of our current speaker on the roster is Izzeldin Abuelaish who wrote I Shall Not Hate: A Gaza Doctor’s Journey. It’s a bestseller and an unbelievable book that I highly recommend to anybody and everybody.

Avil Beckford: You are one of the 10 finalists on the reality show, So, How Would You Spend Your Time? Each finalist is placed on separate deserted islands for two years. You have a basic hut on the island and all the tools for survival; you just have to be imaginative and inventive when using them. You are allowed to take five books, one movie and one music CD, and whatever else you take has to fit in one suitcase and a travel on case. What would you take with you and how would you spend the two years? T he prize is worth your while and at this stage in the game there really aren’t any losers among the 10 finalists, since each are guaranteed at least $2 million?

Jeanne-Marie Robillard:

Five Books

1. I Shall Not Hate: A Gaza Doctor’s Journey on the Road to Peace and Human Dignity
   
2. The Five People You Meet in Heaven
3. Maybe I’d like to learn more about the Bible.
4. Ulysses
5. Jane Eyre

One Movie and Music CD

Big Night for Big Night movie and Big Night: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack.

Big Night – Trailer

If you cannot view the movie trailer for Big Night click here.

How I Will Spend Two Years

I would spend the two years learning, reading all the classics if I could. I would like to learn more about classic literature, religion, and learn to meditate.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Jeanne-Marie Robillard: People, I love that everybody has a story. My current husband is an architect, and he laughs when I say that I love looking at office towers or high-rise office buildings, or condos. I think, “All those stories in there, that’s so cool.” So people for sure.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Jeanne-Marie Robillard: By surrounding myself with positive people, and finding the time to be alone to refuel when I need that time. I go to bed quite early by most people’s standard. I try to head to bed by 9:30 pm on weeknights, and I read. So that’s how I nurture my soul.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Jeanne-Marie Robillard: To help the disadvantaged, to make less suffering in this world.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Jeanne-Marie Robillard: I’m helping others.

Please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

Other articles you may enjoy

• The Chief Mentoring Officer Interviews Annemie Ress, Senior HRD eBay & Global Engagement Lead at eBay, Part Two (theinvisiblementor.com)
• Chief Mentoring Officer Interviews: Do Big Breaks, Mentoring, and Hard Work Equate to Success? Part Two (theinvisiblementor.com)
• Adventures in Learning: DIY Mentoring Program, Episode Two (theinvisiblementor.com)
• The Chief Mentoring Officer Interviews Annemie Ress, Senior HRD eBay & Global Engagement Lead at eBay (theinvisiblementor.com)

Book links are affiliate links.
Video Credit: Uploaded by MahatmaCartman on Dec 2, 2010

Interviewee Name: Annemie Ress, Senior HRD eBay & Global Engagement Lead at eBay

Company Name: eBay EU

Website: http://www.ebay.com 

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Image via CrunchBase

Annemie Ress:  I’m South African by birth and grew up there. I studied law, worked in Switzerland for a short while and have been living in the United Kingdom for the past 13 years. For the past 13 years I have worked for Pepsi (for a short while because I worked for them in South Africa). I also worked on the trading floor for the International Petroleum Exchange and since then I have been working at eBay. I have had multiple careers at eBay.

I’m totally passionate about diversity, positive psychology, human rights and I just did the New York Marathon with my husband.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Annemie Ress: I’m not going to lie to you, it’s very hard working for an American corporation, working in an environment that we work in now, I’m not great at integrating my personal and professional life. Although I say all these things, and the reason why now is so important to me as a concept, is I feel I’m always rushing. I started doing yoga with my husband a year ago, and hatha yoga has been fundamental in terms of transforming and just bringing a sense of calmness into my life. And again surrounding myself with diverse people. I make sure that I also read a very diverse range of material, and I constantly listen to diverse conversations, articles and podcasts so in that way I do fun things, but sometimes they are professional things that contribute to my work-life but I do them while I’m walking. Or I learn while I’m out exercising. I’m not great at it but that’s how I try to connect and keep both parts going. 

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Annemie Ress:

1. Don’t be afraid of the unknown.
2. Surround yourself with people who are very different from you – people who you do not think you have anything in common with.
3. Live in the now or try to live in the now.
4. Have compassion.
5. Realize that not everything is black and white. Grey is an interesting colour.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Annemie Ress: I don’t have a specific process. Most often when I’m not thinking is when ideas come to me. I will consciously try not to think about a challenge or a solution that I’m facing but switch to doing something creative or relaxing, and that’s when the best ideas come.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Annemie Ress: I don’t have one, there are so many and I think I’ll do an injustice by just choosing one. I’d say the one for today is “Honesty without compassion is cruelty.” I think the quote relates the concept that life is complex, and it’s not a set of rules by which we play – if you do A, B will happen. It really helps us to understand the full complexity of life.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Annemie Ress: I think success is very personal and I don’t think there is a formula for success. I can be very self-help-like and say this is the formula for success so read the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. I think for me success is all about being able to go to bed at night and go to sleep feeling that you’ve had a fulfilled day and contributed in a small way to making the world a better place and I know that sounds idealistic, but I really mean that. For me, failure would be going to bed at night and not being able to say, “I showed compassion to someone today,” or I did something that was hard to do, but I did it in a way that helped someone to do something that was really tough.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Annemie Ress: Relationships and sponsorships and being authentic. It’s about building meaningful relationships with key opinion makers and stakeholders at all levels in your organizations. It could be with the person who brings you your coffee in the mornings, if you work in that type of environment. Or it could be with the security guard who is at the entrance when you come in to work, or the president of the corporation. But it’s not just about the relationships it’s also about celebrating the uniqueness in the other person and really connecting with them authentically. In my environment that’s the one thing I’ve tried consistently to do because it builds trust, integrity and respect and that stands you well in both good and bad times.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Annemie Ress: Be brave and don’t think that you have to have a planned journey in life. Go a little bit with the flow and be open to what may come your way, and unexpected things will happen.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Annemie Ress:

1. I’d like to meet some evil people because I want to really understand their minds, I think that would be interesting because I cannot understand how one can commit some really commit some horrendous things, whether it’s Stalin, Hitler. I would try to understand how their minds worked. One could say they’re delusional but who knows. I just don’t understand that level of evil. Out of the two I think I would choose Stalin because so much has been written about Hitler.
2. I’d like to meet Mother Teresa because I know she’s had moments of doubts – I read that in a book recently – in her life and faith and I find that really interesting.
3. I met Nelson Mandela briefly, but I would love to understand the compassion he could show after all those years in jail and the wisdom that he had.
4. I would love to meet someone who lived in the Middle Ages – people who were suspicious of everything, and believed in witchcraft. I would find it fascinating interacting with them.

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Annemie Ress: The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho and the Power of Now
by Eckhart Tolle. Both those books impacted me. I have read all of Paulo Coelho’s books and I loved all of them. I love how he combines mystery, religion, magic and life experiences, challenge and it started with The Alchemist, and that unlocked my interest in him as an author. I find it a powerful story that never dates. And for the Power of Now, back to my earlier comment that we have nothing now but the second, what’s passed is gone, and we can’t ever be sure of what happens next, so value every minute that you have.

Avil Beckford: You are one of the 10 finalists on the reality show, So, How Would You Spend Your Time? Each finalist is placed on separate deserted islands for two years. You have a basic hut on the island and all the tools for survival; you just have to be imaginative and inventive when using them. You are allowed to take five books, one movie and one music CD, and whatever else you take has to fit in one suitcase and a travel on case. What would you take with you and how would you spend the two years? T he prize is worth your while and at this stage in the game there really aren’t any losers among the 10 finalists, since each are guaranteed at least $2 million?

Annemie Ress: I have a Lisa Se Klavier CD of Afrikaans – which is my mother tongue – of folk music that is lovely poetry that I’d like to take with me. It’s about a girl who sits and plays the piano while the sun goes down in Cape Town. It’s absolutely beautiful. I love The Killing Fields as a movie and the books I would take:

1. The Alchemist
2. Power of Now
3. Blank book that I could write in. I love writing poetry and I would love to write a story. I’m trying to so about all my memories from childhood. Everyone says that, but if I had two years on an island I’ll take the blank book and do it.
4. I would like to take a Chinese language lesson book that teaches me how to speak Chinese.
5. A children’s story, something that makes me really happy, whether it’s Dr Seuss or something like that. That would keep me smiling in a fun and uncomplicated way.

During the two years, I would write the book and I would meditate, sit quietly and look at the waves, clouds, just calm down and breathe a lot, and practice everything I’m being taught in yoga. I would slow down and become in touch with my body, mind, and nature and really connect with who I am.

“Lisa se Klavier” – DOZI – Afrikaans Lyrics with English Translation

If you cannot view the YouTube Video please click here.

The Killing Fields Trailer

If you cannot view the YouTube Video please click here.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Annemie Ress: The unknown, both the scariness and the excitement of it – we don’t know what will happen. I don’t know what’s ahead for me and I really don’t want to know.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Annemie Ress:  I have to read more than one book at a time. Reading is absolutely critical. I love to listen to philosophical arguments, debates and podcasts and stay in touch with news in Africa, and without that I don’t feel alive.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Annemie Ress: I’d wish that my mother and my husband who are the most important people in my life would always be happy.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Annemie Ress: I have the freedom to do whatever I want to do.

How can you use this information? What do you have to add to the conversation? Please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

Book links are affiliate links.

YouTube Video Credit: http://www.youtube.com/user/Afrikitty, http://www.youtube.com/user/francesco99?feature=watch

Related articles

• The Chief Mentoring Officer Interviews Annemie Ress, Senior HRD eBay & Global Engagement Lead at eBay (theinvisiblementor.com)

Interviewee Name: Alison Duke

Company Name: Goldelox Productions

Website: http://www.alisonduke.com/ 

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Alison Duke: I was born in Canada after my parents moved from Guyana. I was the only girl in the family of four boys. I am a proud Canadian who makes films about social justice.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Alison Duke: I tend to keep those two things separately, although I tend to work with people who I enjoy being around. I feel like I have to be a businessperson so I tend to set boundaries and separate things. I had to work a lot around boundaries in my life so I try to keep business and the personal life separate. 

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it? 

Alison Duke: I like to spend my down time outdoors. That includes being outside in my yard. We just renovated our backyard so I’ll be spending more time out there. I also love traveling to different places. I think being outside and traveling really reconnects my spirit and my soul with the universe, with the world. So I love to spend as much time as I can outdoors. Most of my work is indoors so getting outside is very important to me.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Alison Duke:

1. Try and enjoy the moment, whatever it is, whether it’s a challenge, or a success because sometimes you miss out on an important life lesson because you’re moving too quickly when something happens. You move too quickly trying to get to the next phase, when something good happens, or you try to fix something when there is a challenge or a disappointment. I think you really need most of the time to stop and listen to what life is saying to you.
2. Take as many risks as you can, especially when you are learning something new. By taking the risk you’ll discover what you really like to do and why. Some people in the film industry wait a long time before making a film and I often tell people, “As soon as you learn a skill test it out, try to make a film, and see what you like about it.” You might start out thinking that you want to be a director or producer, but then you realize that you’d like to be a camera person, you’d like to be the art director or you’d like to do everything. It’s only through risk-taking that you’ll learn that.
3. Don’t sweat the small stuff. I think this is really true about a lot of things. You really have to pick your battles because if you are always flying off complaining about somebody, people won’t take you seriously after a while. That kind of anxiety leads to illness, and it’s just not good, so pick your battles.
4. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Working too hard or burning the candle at both ends will cause your work to suffer. You have to not be afraid to ask for help when you need it. And that could be asking around for a mentor, it could be saying, “You know I don’t know this aspect of my job.” Do some information interviews with people who are doing that job. It could be taking courses online, or it could be reading books that will help you learn what you need to learn. If you do not know how to do something, maybe a friend or a colleague knows how to do it, learn when and how to collaborate because collaboration is also good for creativity, and for getting things done.
5. Try to be as organized as possible when it comes to business. I find that when I’m organized I can get a lot of my business done before 11 am and that leaves the rest of my day to be creative, and I can be a little bit more loose with my schedule because that helps me with my creativity. So I tend to be as organized as possible, do all my emails and phone calls before 11 am.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Alison Duke: I do many things. I read a lot of newspapers. I read a lot of journals and I read anything about current events. I also go through historical documents. I peruse the web, but nothing beats watching people and eavesdropping on conversations, not to be nosy but to get a sense of how people talk, what are they talking about, what’s important to people? I love watching people – it could be on the subway, standing on my friend’s porch. Sometimes it’s a look people have, or the way they do what they are doing. A lot of those situations when I’m watching people inspire a shot or a dialogue or how I construct a narration or something. It’s always funny to me when I might listen to something on the streetcar, and then all of sudden I realize that’s the way people are saying this kind of thing and I’d incorporate it into my work.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Alison Duke: It’s a Nelson Mandela quotation, “No one is born hating another person because of the colour of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Alison Duke: The way I define success is being able to call your own shots in life, not being a slave to anyone or any system, being free to set your own schedule. The formula for success is taking risks, investing in yourself, and when I say investing I don’t mean going out and spending a lot of money on different things but it could be through taking the time to invest in your education, about whatever you want to do. It could be about being an entrepreneur that’s selling baked goods. You need to learn everything you need to know about running a business and baking.

In terms of taking risks, don’t play it safe, take the time to try things that may fail because it’s through the failing that you learn the most. Through failing I’ve had a steep learning curve. I remember when I didn’t know how to use a camera and I had to film something and none of my cameramen were available. I went and shot it myself, and was it the best it could be? No! It wasn’t technically sound, but when I was editing that piece it became a very powerful part of the film. And even when I was showing it to people who are experienced, like cinematographers, and I said my lighting wasn’t good, they said, “You know what, that was a very powerful part, leave it in the film.” And I’ve learned so much about how to film better through that process. And now I film more of my content as well.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Alison Duke: The steps I took were investing in myself, taking the courses because I didn’t go to film school, so I had to backtrack and take courses. So when I was starting off, every year, I would go to all the film industry events, the film festivals and buy an industry pass and go to all the workshops. I would take workshops outside of that, for every single part of my profession and learn all about it, even if it came down to learn how to write production grants. I took so many of them and I would retake them to the point where I’d say to myself, “Stop taking that, start doing it.” And then I’d start doing it. But even to this day, I take two to three workshops a year.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Alison Duke: Take risks. As soon as you learn something, take the risk of applying that practically. So if you’re going to learn directing, go out and direct something. If you are going to learn to be a cameraperson go out and try to film something. Take that risk and learn from it. But on top of that, as you are learning, invest in yourself and go and take those workshops so you can become better at it. Learn different skills and learn how to hone your skills better. There is a lot to learn all the time, so you can’t just sit on your hands and think that you are always going to get work, and believe you’re always going to be a part of the industry. You have to grow with the industry and stay relevant.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Alison Duke:

1. Martin Luther King: I would love to hear him speak, but I would have to ask him the question, “Why did you write your speech I Have a Dream?” And I’d also want to know if he was satisfied with the results today, and what he thinks about today’s society.
2. Steven Spielberg & Martin Scorcese: I would love to meet and ask them how they became A-List directors, what film made them an A-List director and why?
3. Barack Obama: I would love to ask him how he takes so much pressure, how he deals with all the pressure around him. I think he is under an enormous amount of pressure and I don’t know how he deals with that on a daily basis. That’s extraordinary.
4. Harriet Tubman:  Harriet Tubman was an extraordinary person. I want to know what would possess her to be a freedom fighter and an abolitionist, what gave her the courage to do it, and how did she do that – lead the slaves to freedom, and the smarts to evade the authority at the time.

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Alison Duke: I think it was a A Course in Miracles: Combined Volume by Dr. Helen Schucman. It’s a book that answers those lifelong questions about your existence and where I as a human being fit into this huge universe. For me it’s about the connection to your soul. One of the saying in the book is “Nothing can be threatened”, “Nothing unreal exists.” In those two phrases that’s where I find peace. With all the chaos in the world, that’s where I find peace and my god – what I think god is.

Avil Beckford: You are one of the 10 finalists on the reality show, So, How Would You Spend Your Time? Each finalist is placed on separate deserted islands for two years. You have a basic hut on the island and all the tools for survival; you just have to be imaginative and inventive when using them. You are allowed to take five books, one movie and one music CD, and whatever else you take has to fit in one suitcase and a travel on case. What would you take with you and how would you spend the two years? T he prize is worth your while and at this stage in the game there really aren’t any losers among the 10 finalists, since each are guaranteed at least $2 million? 

Note from Avil: I did this interview before I changed the question!

Alison Duke:

1. A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles” by Marianne Williamson. It’s a reflection on the principles of the Course in Miracles.
2. A Course in Miracles: Combined Volume because you can’t just read it front to the end, you have to take your time. Sometimes you read a chapter and have to step away from it for a week and then read another chapter. Or you read a page every day.
3. Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman’s Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia by Elizabeth Gilbert: I love that book, it’s such a great book. On a deserted island, that woman in the book is a character, and she was sort of on a deserted island so the metaphor for that book and being on a deserted island I think would bode well with me thinking about the possibilities in life, that maybe some day I would be rescued. I think in her journey in life she was looking for someone or something to rescue her.
4. I would also love to have a book about my ancestors, maybe that’s a book that I would start working on, trying to retrace my family.
5. I don’t know if I would particularly have The Bible or the Koran but I’d like to have some kind of book that talks about spirituality. I think it would be a combination of all the spiritual books from the Koran to the Bible to the Tipitaka (Buddhist holy book) so that I can compare and contrast what they are saying.

My music CD that I would take is Michael Jackson’s Off the Wall and I remember as a young person dancing to that from the first to the last song, over and over again without tiring, and I think the title of the album says it all. You have to live life off the wall, you have to be outrageous. Make your life the best it could be and I really felt that when I used to listen to that album. The movie would be The Wizard of Oz (Two-Disc 70th Anniversary Edition). I love that movie because there are so many life lessons about your fears, and the scarecrow, just the life lessons that are played by the characters is amazing and I love to watch that movie over and over again.

OFF THE WALL – MICHAEL JACKSON

If you cannot view the YouTube Off the Wall video, please click here.

The Wizard of Oz

If you cannot view the YouTube Wizard of Oz video, please click here.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Alison Duke: You can make choices in life and through those choices you are in charge of your destiny.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Alison Duke: I nurture my soul through my spiritual practice. I think everyone has to believe in something that is beyond them.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Alison Duke: I wish there was peace on earth. I wish that people would be respected and that there would be human rights for all. And I think if there was human rights for all there would be peace on earth.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Alison Duke: I’m happy when I can make people smile and laugh.

How can you use this information? What do you have to add to the conversation? Let’s keep the conversation flowing, please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

Book, movie and video links are affiliate links.

YouTube Video Credit: Off the Wall Uploaded by BigMTown4, Wizard of Oz Uploaded by  Ravenswood17