The Invisible Mentor

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What if your husband committed a sex crime, how would you react? Read Shannon Moroney’s story.

Invisible Mentor: Shannon Moroney, Author, Advocate & Speaker

Website: http://www.shannonmoroney.com/ 

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Shannon Moroney:  I’m the author of a book that just came out titled Through the Glass. It’s my memoir of a personal experience as a victim of crime but moreover of the spouse of an offender and the journey through the justice system. I’m based in Toronto, and I travel all over the place doing public speaking and putting some of my efforts into restorative justice.

Avil Beckford: What’s a typical day like for you?

Shannon Moroney: I’m afraid I don’t have very typical days. My days are often quite different from one another. At the moment, my husband and I are preparing to move and I’m supervising a big renovation project. When I’m not traveling with my book, I spend a significant amount of time each day responding to emails from readers, and groups that are interested in me coming to their community. I try to integrate a little bit of time for personal care, exercise, and so on. Right now I’m expecting twins in May, so I have lots of doctor’s appointments. But I don’t have a regular schedule.

Avil Beckford: How do you motivate yourself and stay motivated?

Shannon Moroney:  That’s an interesting question for someone like myself who has just come through a very traumatic period. It’s easy to feel exhausted or drained because I tire more easily than I did because of the emotional demands of the work that I do. But what motivates me are usually letters from my readers who are identifying with my book, who are thanking me for having a voice for them and just knowing that the work I do is making a difference in other people’s lives is what keeps me motivated.

Avil Beckford: If you had to start over from scratch, knowing what you know now, what would you do differently?

Shannon Moroney:  I think because I was put into a situation very suddenly for which there was no map or guidebook, no one to ask for advice, I had to forge my way forward. Maybe the only thing I would do, would be to take a little bit better care of myself if that had been possible. I did the very best that I could, and I didn’t have any easy decisions to make. To say I would do something differently might not respect myself the way that I was coming through a difficult time. I think at the end of every day I feel at peace with myself and the choices that I have made.

Avil Beckford: What’s the most important business or other discovery you’ve made in the past year?

Shannon Moroney: It’s been an interesting . A couple of years ago, I had just been remarried, so it was a very happy time. I was going through the final editing stage of my book, and my book came out about eight or nine moths ago. One of the discoveries I have made was that the process of writing a book, which is long and hard, and thankless in many ways payless. When the book came out I thought I would feel a huge relief, or a huge sense of pride, or a big rush of satisfaction, and what’s been a challenge is discovering that putting my book out into the world doesn’t close up my own personal life and my challenges. I still have to live with taking care of myself post-trauma. It’s been a lot of hard work and I think I thought I would feel a little bit more free than I do.

Avil Beckford: What are the three threats to your business, your success, and how are you handling them?

Shannon Moroney:

1. In the field that I work in something that is difficult to cope with is the media. There is a lot of media attention around my book. Some of it comes to me and I experience it with a lot of integrity, and other times I’ve had to put up with very sensational reporting – headlines that really upset me and that has created a situation where I need to respond or not respond. I need to choose battles or not choose battles and that’s a big challenge. I’m still trying to figure out how to stand up for myself, how to trust the media.
2. The other would me making a living at all on the work that I do. I gave up my teaching job so that I could finish working on it full-time and so I could go on tour with my book. There is not a big financial success in the book publishing industry. Most of the work I do is with charitable organizations – wonderful community-based groups that want to bring me to speak with their groups but who are working with very small budgets. So I find it a challenge to negotiate the business side of my work. It’s not something I have experience in and to try to help others meet their needs while not sacrificing my own. That’s a challenge to say that the work I do has value. I have to pay my bills like everybody else, and I can’t always be expected to work for free or for charity. So that’s a big negotiation going on.

Avil Beckford: Describe a major business or other challenge you had and how you resolved it. What kind of lessons did you learn in the process?

Shannon Moroney: The nature of my book, and the experience I went through was enormous, and beyond a challenge to overcome, going from a happy, newlywed successful person working in education, to a homeowner, someone involved in the community I lived in, to suddenly overnight to become the wife of a sex offender. That brought with it a horrific stigma, such painful trauma, and a great deal of judgement by others on me. It took a long time to gain back my sense of who I am, to fight against that kind of stigma and prejudice and move forward with my life. One of the most important things that I learned is to know what your personal values are, who you are as an individual because that is what will help and heal you should you go through a significant loss or trauma like I did.

Avil Beckford: Tell me about your big break and who gave you.

Shannon Moroney: My biggest break in life is having a supportive family – a family that stood by me and helped me through a situation, who gave me the love and support I needed to go each step of the way. In terms of publishing my book, it’s a different story, I had a few big breaks and they all came by happenstance connections. Talking to friends, being open with the work I was trying to do in terms of writing led to some conversations with people who had connections in the publishing industry. Very quickly I found myself in the hands of a lovely agent and a wonderful publisher. Had I not been open with what I was doing, had I not followed up on leads I was given, when someone said, “Hey do you want to meet my friend’s brother-in-law who published a book?” I always said yes to anything like that. Any type of connection, someone who could help me, show me some insights, I think I was very open to all of that advice and opportunity and that led to some incredibly big breaks and some wonderful relationships.

Avil Beckford: Describe one of your biggest failures. What lessons did you learn, and how did it contribute to a greater success?

Shannon Moroney:  That’s a hard question for me. I never really think of the concept of failure in terms of my own experience because I had to survive so much that I also had to be kind to myself when things didn’t work out – when I took two steps forward, and then a step back in my recovery, and my efforts to move forward with my life. I couldn’t think of them as failures. I had to continue to move forward. A lesson I learned though is that nobody moves forward in their life on their own, and it’s a good idea to take up any offers of help that you get along the way. Not only did that lead to greater success, it also led to much greater happiness. Having people to share a success with at the end of a long road is a lot more beautiful than enjoying it alone.

Avil Beckford: What’s one of the toughest decisions you’ve had to make and how did it impact your life?

Shannon Moroney:  One of the toughest decisions I had to make was to break my wedding vows. My first husband already broke them to me when he committed these horrific crimes, but ultimately I had to choose to break mine to him. They weren’t broken automatically. That was very painful for me to be forced to change the kind of love I have for him, to decide to leave him behind in prison while I move forward with my life. To hold him accountable for what he had done, but also hold myself accountable for making a better future for myself. These decisions came with a great amount of pain. They took time. They took a lot of courage in terms of me saying to myself, that I deserved to still live a full and wonderful life even after I had been so terribly betrayed and victimized. The impact has been incredibly positive. I don’t live a life without sadness when I remember that time. It will never stop being painful but deciding that I could have a life, I deserved a life, that I wasn’t going to let my life be controlled by someone else’s horrible action. I found happiness again. I found a purpose in the work that I do and I also found a way to trust again and a way to love again. Now I’ve arrived at a time where I feel a great deal of happiness with my new husband and as we expect our twins to be born very soon I feel proud about the decisions that I’ve made to move forward.

Avil Beckford: What are three events that helped to shape your life?

Shannon Moroney:

1. Obviously the one I write about the most – the great trauma involving my husband’s arrest and incarceration.
2. Before that, in the 30 years of life that I had before this horrible trauma, what shaped my character and gave me the skills to cope in a way that I did, or when this trauma happened. Major events involved travel, choosing to travel at an early age, as a teenager on my own, going to Indonesia to live three months, choosing to live a year abroad in South America with my university.
3. After everything happened with my husband, choosing to go back to school, get a Maters degree in England, and open doors for myself. All of those travel experiences were incredibly educational and opened my eyes to the way people live in other parts of the world, and gave me a perspective and a lot of gratefulness in life I had even when I had to go through a horribly, painful time, I still had the perspective of the suffering that other people have to go through, and I could still be grateful for what I did have instead of think that everything was over for me.

Avil Beckford: What’s an accomplishment that you are proudest of?

Shannon Moroney:  Deciding I would be able to find happiness again, and to come through a trauma that I think many people might not have made it through, or might still be suffering greatly from. I think the greatest accomplishment was deciding for myself that I deserved a wonderful life, and working every single day, every day, to get to a place where I could reach that point.

Avil Beckford: How did mentors influence your life?

Shannon Moroney:  I’ve been so fortunate that I have had so many mentors, leaders in my life, at all different points, all different kinds of people, every age, that have given me perspective on things, have given me advice, who have modeled for me who I would like to be. I would be nowhere without all the people in my life who are champions of the human spirit who offer guidance directly or by the way they live.

Avil Beckford: What’s one core message you received from your mentors?

Shannon Moroney: Overall, a message I picked up along the way is that we’re not in control of what happens to us, but we’re in control of how we respond, and who we are. That message of knowing who I am, knowing what my values are, is something that has fortified me through difficult times, and good times as well.

Avil Beckford: An invisible mentor is a unique leader you can learn things from by observing them from afar, in the capacity of an Invisible Mentor, what is one piece of advice that you would give to readers?

Shannon Moroney:  My one piece of advice would be that every night when you go to bed and put your head on your own pillow, you have to feel at peace with yourself, what you’ve done during the day, how you’ve interacted with other people, how you’ve treated yourself and others. If you feel at peace with all those things then no naysayer, no critic can get in the way of who you are in accomplishing your goals and that’s the advice I would give.

Everybody has people in their life that will judge them, that will be critical, be negative but ultimately at the end of the day, what you think of yourself and how you are with other people is what you have to live with. You’re the only person that you have to live with for the rest of your life, the only person you’re guaranteed to know your whole life is you, and that’s not being self-centered, but its’ about making sure that who know who that is, and you’re at peace with that person. When you see shortcomings in yourself that you not beat yourself about them but you work toward improvements.

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Interviewee Name: Mireille Landry, President & Managing Director

Company Name: Solution ML Limited

Website: http://www.solutionml.ca

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Mireille Landry: I was born in Quebec City, moved a couple of times – Montreal, New Brunswick, and Toronto. I married my high school sweetheart and we have one daughter who is 21 years old. I had 21 years of successful corporate leadership career and became a new entrepreneur last year.

Avil Beckford: What’s a typical day like for you?

Mireille Landry: I don’t have a typical day, at least not yet. I did in my previous roles. The kind of day that I’d like to see typical is that I get up a little bit later than when I was in corporate because I’m not an early riser. I enjoy a bit of reading and reflection time in the morning before it gets crazy. A perfect day for me would be when I have client assignments so I am with clients in the mornings and then have time to do business development later in the day.

Because my business is very new it really is dependent on the type of project I’m working on, so that’s why I say there isn’t any typical day yet.

Avil Beckford: How do you motivate yourself and stay motivated?

Mireille Landry: There are a couple of things that I do. I am a very positive person so I surround myself with positive messages. I say my motto, “Believe, believe, believe,” so I keep that close to me. In my office I have pictures of great events, great moments, whether it me family moments or travel, or certificates of accomplishment, and I keep those around me. The visuals are really important and “Believe, believe, believe,” make a big difference to keep me motivated, particularly when the times are tougher.

Avil Beckford: If you had to start over from scratch, knowing what you know now, what would you do differently?

Mireille Landry: There are a couple of things I would do differently. They are not major but they would be impactful. I would start networking or paying attention to networking much earlier in my life, and nurture that network throughout my life. I also include in that networking with friends and business professionals and all the people in my life. I would also get involved in volunteering earlier. I find it’s great now that in high school they are encouraging kids to do volunteer work to graduate. I think that’s a great thing. That’s one thing I would have liked to do differently, and sooner. And I would have taken a more active role in women and leadership.

Avil Beckford: What’s the most important business or other discovery you’ve made in the past year?

I discovered that I can be a really good business advisor, and I’m absolutely able to be a business owner/entrepreneur. That’s always something that has been in the back of my mind that maybe one day I would do it, perhaps when I’m a little older. As I’ve told you, I launched my business last year and that’s a great discovery to realize that I can be successful doing that and that I love it.

Avil Beckford: What’s one of the biggest advances in your industry over the past five years?

Mireille Landry: It’s a big advance but it’s not big enough, it’s not good enough yet but it would be women in leadership positions. It’s getting attention so we are starting to see more women in leadership positions, more women on boards, but the percentages are so low and the growth is not in double digits. So we don’t see gender balance on executive teams, in boardrooms, and I think one of the reasons why we’re seeing some advances, some improvement is that there is more focus on developing talent, both genders, not just women. It’s good to see more focus put on developing talent, but it just needs to be done a lot more.

Avil Beckford: What are the three threats to your business, your success, and how are you handling them?

Mireille Landry:

1. There are many players. There are many consulting firms, large and small. So being a small player is even more difficult. I am often up against bigger firms that have great reputation or have been in business for a lot longer. For that particular threat, my perspective is to differentiate myself and work on the relationship, and it’s the personal approach that I can offer that perhaps different firms cannot offer.
2. Another threat is the patience and persistence doing the business development, although you expect results quickly, and it doesn’t happen like that. We need to persevere and persist so from that perspective the threat is really to lose that vision and not hang on.
3. As my business is growing, and customers really enjoy working with us, how fast can I grow, and how quickly can I ramp up to handle higher demands? It’s a threat, but it’s a great problem to have. What I am doing to handle that – I like to say I am proactive and forward thinking – I already have some thoughts on who I would hire in each of the areas of my business practice so that when I am challenged with a fast growth, I’m able to reach out into my network and I already have people who could jump on board and work with me.

Avil Beckford: What’s unique about the service that you provide?

Mireille Landry: What we provide is business consulting, but with a people angle. When you look at our website, we say trusted business advisors with a people focus. I like to be able to say to business leaders that we will help them to optimize their business results by leveraging their most important resource which is their people. So if they have challenges and problems, it really is about deconstructing those problems and always taking care and understanding the people impact and how to get the best out of their people. I personally found that that was a huge contributor to my success in my career, expecting a lot but giving back a lot to the people surrounding you. I think that’s very unique because in both streams of business in my firm we focus on the people aspect to make sure that companies and business leaders are successful.

Avil Beckford: What do you observe most people in your field doing badly that you think you do well?

Mireille Landry: Follow-up! I think a lot of people don’t follow up or say something. They don’t deliver. They don’t do what they committed to do. I am strong at the follow-up and delivering on my commitments.

Avil Beckford: Describe a major business or other challenge you had and how you resolved it. What kind of lessons did you learn in the process?

Mireille Landry: I’d like to give an example when I became a manager for the first time. I was passionate and motivated. I had the right intent but I was a little bit rough around the edges, a bit abrasive perhaps in my management style. I was young, and I appreciate the leader who saw in me the future qualities of a leader but I certainly was not a well-rounded leader at the time. Some people on the team had a nickname that was not quite nice for me. I was their Godzilla so I had to really soften my approach. I had to resolve it obviously, and I did. I had some extremely successful years after that. That team that had me that first year in management lived through the process of grooming a new manager. I had to get into mentoring and I was being coached to be better in what I did.

The biggest learning for me is that you can’t force people to do things, you need to coach them and help them to understand the goals and support them. A title is a title. Leadership is not about the title. It’s about helping people do, take action or execute or deliver on the business commitments that you need them to do without them feeling that they are forced to do it. For sure you team has a job, but the best testament is to see people who want to really work with you again – they are lining up to take the opportunity to be led by you one more time. So the biggest lesson for me was that it’s not about saying, “I’m the boss and I expect you to do,” and being short and abrasive like I was in that very first year. I grew and learned a lot that year, and I’m glad that the nickname disappeared.

Avil Beckford: Tell me about your big break and who gave you.

Mireille Landry: I had many. I talked to you about this first management job, so we’ll use this big break. This was back in New Brunswick and I took on my first management job. As I said, from the outside I looked more like a chunk of coal than I did a diamond. It took lots of massaging and coaching and guidance so I could become a really strong, remarkable leader. That business unit executive who gave me than chance, who not only hired me as the manager of that group but also took on the leadership and responsibility to help me become a good leader and teach me the way. It required a lot of his time, it was a hands-on for him, he needed to coach me closer, and he made a big difference in my career in having a long career in leadership.

Avil Beckford: Describe one of your biggest failures. What lessons did you learn, and how did it contribute to a greater success?

Mireille Landry: I’ll fast forward a few years after that, this would have been in 2001. I wanted to complete my MBA. I had decided that I wanted to take my MBA at Queens University, and there was a sponsorship case that I was putting together to present to my company for financial sponsorship. When a business leader makes the commitment to complete an Executive MBA there is a time commitment that is expected of the leader.

And of course your employer needs to support you in that. I built my sponsorship case. I put a lot of work into it. The university helped and coached me in making sure that my sponsorship case was the best or was very strong and compelling. I knew I had the support from a time away perspective. I was looking for financial support, and it was a big failure.

I assumed that the sponsorship case would speak of itself, and the lesson I learned was, you can’t assume that that proposal, that document will do the work. I had not navigated the political web. I had not talked about it off-the-record, offline. I had not done my networking, my due diligence, sure that this was taking no one by surprise. I simply built a big sponsorship case and presented it to my senior leader at the time who sent it up the line. But when it was received by the Canadian CEO at the time, this kind of came out of the blue.

So I had really done a poor job of communicating and navigating. I didn’t have any political savvy for sure. How did it contribute to a greater success? Trust me, I learned. I learned – no surprises. Always have a strategy of no surprises, making sure that you understand who the stakeholders are in any kind of decisions, and being able to read and expect and plan for the outcome and play all the scenarios: the best case, the worst case. The learning from that failure, it was a failure because I was not sponsored, and it was a huge failure for me because I had to delay my entry to Queens University by one year because now I didn’t have a Plan B to pay for myself. It was very emotional for me to postpone for another year. It was frustrating and I was ready to go to university, but I didn’t have the money.

The learning came in handy as I occupied more senior leadership positions within different corporations. It came in handy as well in sales. When you have a business meeting or make a proposal to senior leaders within your company or with clients, you need to look at all angles and always plan what different stakeholders position may be so that you are fully prepared.

Avil Beckford: What has been your biggest disappointment in your life – and what are you doing to prevent its reoccurrence?

Mireille Landry: From a business standpoint I would say the biggest disappointment I faced was the one described above. From a personal standpoint I would say it was not having a larger family. We have one daughter and we were certainly hoping for more.

Avil Beckford: What’s one of the toughest decisions you’ve had to make and how did it impact your life?

Mireille Landry: I worked for IBM for 18 years and I decided to leave for another great opportunity. From a professional standpoint that has been one of the toughest decisions I have had to make. From a career standpoint it did impact my life because obviously after that I took on another position with a different company, grew and developed my leadership skills and abilities. I was entrusted with greater responsibilities, large revenue commitments, and that was the beginning of a series of different steps that brought me to where I am today. Had I not made that decision to leave the company although a great company, I would probably still be there because it was difficult to leave something that was secure, good, where I felt fulfilled.

Also, from a business leader standpoint, not from my own personal career, I had to ramp down a team and that was very difficult because I was dealing with the business decisions, and also the human drama and tragedy of people losing their employment. It was because we needed to close down a division, and that was a tough decision to make to decide who could be deployed and who could not be redeployed.

Avil Beckford: What are three events that helped to shape your life?

Mireille Landry:

1. This was a really long time ago. When I was a little bit of a crazy teenager, grandfather passed away and it sent me an interesting reflection about how life is priceless. And suddenly the thought that my grandpa could now see the things that I was doing that was not always of good judgement. I certainly think that that made me make better decisions after his passing.
2. When I left IBM for Bell Canada to lead one of their largest enterprise accounts, that ended up being very impactful and shaping my life by making me redefine what success was all about. From a financial standpoint, it was a very good opportunity. But the job ended up being in Montreal and I had to commute back and forth every week and that was very difficult and taking a toll from a family perspective. I ended up coming back to Toronto and leaving that job opportunity. I realized that living in Montreal during the week, and living in Toronto during the weekends was not the kind of life I was looking for even though the dollars and cents were good and the professional role was excellent. It was not the type of life from a personal standpoint that I was looking for. So that was a big event.
3. Becoming a mom shaped my life in big ways. Certainly in growing myself and developing. The way you negotiate with teenagers you need a better approach sometimes. You need to develop additional sets of skills, and you see life differently through the eyes of a child.

Avil Beckford: What’s an accomplishment that you are proudest of?

Mireille Landry: Going back to school and completing my MBA. As a working mom, I’m really proud of that, and as much as that was for me personally, my daughter when she graduated referred back to that and stated before her peers that I had been such a great role model for her in showing that it was important to have goals  and dreams.

Avil Beckford: How did mentors influence your life?

Mireille Landry: In plenty of ways. They’ve been supporters. They have allowed me to walk a mile in their shoes. At times some of my mentors were saying things that I didn’t see just yet, and I believed enough in them. It was easier to believe in them than myself at times, so I would trust them. I think it made me wiser. It was different views and opinions. They were great advisors to me.

Avil Beckford: What’s one core message you received from your mentors?

Mireille Landry: I would say it was believe in yourself, your clients do.

Avil Beckford: An invisible mentor is a unique leader you can learn things from by observing them from afar, in the capacity of an Invisible Mentor, what is one piece of advice that you would give to readers?

Mireille Landry: I would like to say, “Great leaders serve. They give back.” If you take the serving leadership attitude, as leaders we get in different ways. Great leaders serve and there is a great book on that.

How can you use this information? What do you have to add to the conversation? Let’s keep the conversation flowing, please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

Interviewee Name: Kevin Popović, Communications Director

Company Name: Ideahaus

Website: http://www.ideahaus.com

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Kevin Popović: My job has evolved. I call myself a communications director so I help my clients direct all their communications – marketing, strategy, corporate identity and branding, advertising, design issues, public relations and quite a lot of social media these days. Quite simply, I help my clients figure out what to say and how to say it to their target markets.

Avil Beckford: What’s a typical day like for you?

Kevin Popović: If I had two days in a row that were the same I would be so surprised. Some days I work out of my beach studio in Delmar here in San Diego. Some days I’m at a comic convention interviewing different people in the comic, television and movie business. Some days I may be in New York working with a CEO client. Other days I may be in Hollywood at a celebrity awards gifts suite, some days I am in our Pittsburgh studio. Sunday I’ll be on stage at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas. So my typical day is an adventure – every day is an adventure, and it’s a new adventure.

Avil Beckford: How do you motivate yourself and stay motivated?

Kevin Popović: I look at the pile of bills that I have to pay this month. The challenge as an entrepreneur is that there is no one telling you what time you have to be at work, and there is no one telling you what has to get done today, and if your intent is being self-employed and an entrepreneur, that is one of the first things that you have to overcome is being able to motivate yourself and stay motivated.

Avil Beckford: If you had to start over from scratch, knowing what you know now, what would you do differently?

Kevin Popović: Not a damn thing! And I say that in all sincerity. I had a path earlier in my career to go and work for somebody or to not go and work for somebody, and I worked for some people, and then I decided that that wasn’t for me. But the things that I got involved in throughout my life have all been different types of communications, whether it was video production or event production, or design, or advertising, or website development, all of those things that I have done have gotten me to where I am today and I’m very happy where I am today.

Avil Beckford: What’s the most important business or other discovery you’ve made in the past year?

Kevin Popović: I’m realizing the opportunity in social media, and I have been involved in social media for six years. And every week I learn something new, but it has been over the last year that clients are realizing success as we are doing some very innovative things, realizing how many people are connecting and what that means. That’s my greatest observation.

Avil Beckford: What are the three threats to your business, your success, and how are you handling them?

Kevin Popović:

1. The economy which I can do nothing about.
2. My competitors which I can do nothing about.
3. Me and my company which I can do everything about. So that’s where I’m focusing on, me, my company, and my team.

Avil Beckford: What’s unique about the service that you provide?

Kevin Popović: Me! I do not mean that in an arrogant way. But every ship has a captain, someone who tells you to steer left, steer right, watch out for that iceberg. I’m the captain of our ship Ideahaus, and there are lots of different ships and lots of good captains. But what’s different about us is me.

Avil Beckford: What do you observe most people in your field doing badly that you think you do well?

Kevin Popović: I think most people do what’s expected. I think most people don’t pay attention to the compulsories  because they are expected, and there isn’t a lot of innovation. I think we do innovation very well.

Avil Beckford: Describe a major business or other challenge you had and how you resolved it. What kind of lessons did you learn in the process?

Kevin Popović: One of our clients is a retailer of pop culture apparel and that includes t-shirts, hoodies, belt buckles, patches, hats and things like Superman t-shirts. The challenge is that you can get Superman t-shirts anywhere, so why get it from my guy?

We focused on making it a priority for people to understand why you got it from our client, and we focused on their branding, and we focused on listening, and communicating back with the customers, and we came to what you call an understanding, a quid pro quo with our customers. They can pay attention to us, if we give them something to pay attention to, so we developed an online show that provide subject matter that we are both interested in, for instance superheroes. We give them entertainment, 5-minute daily shows about superheroes, or movies, television, or the things they are interested in, and in return they watch their show, and our commercials are placed within that show, and they buy t-shirts. That’s how we took a client with a commodity product, turn them into a premium, and developed a communications channel with his target audience.

I learned that you have to have an objective understanding of who you are in the marketplace, and where you fit in. I think we helped our client do that. I think this is something that is hard for businesses to do, and I think it’s hard for communications professionals to do that with their clients. But when we both do that, I think it’s when we are able to make much more informed and effective decisions.

Avil Beckford: Tell me about your big break and who gave you.

Kevin Popović: There is a gentleman named Bob Friday, and he had a company called TGIF Productions that did video and event production. While I was a struggling entrepreneur, and trying to figure out where I was going to fit in this communications business, I had to take a part-time job in retail. Every so often Bob would come in to the store and buy something new for his office, and he’d share a story and I would chime in about what I thought about his story. We started communicating back and forth.

I ended up offering to help him with these projects on the side to gain experience, and after four or five months of this he started paying me to freelance and after six months of that he brought me on in a full-time position as assistant producer. For four years I traveled all over the country learning about video and event production and how to deal with clients.

I saw how he ran his business and I also saw what I did not like about how he ran his business. So I attribute one of my big breaks to Bob Friday, and thank him for the opportunities he provided and the lessons that he taught me. Many of which are things that I knew that I did not want to do. My father taught me a long time ago to learn from my mistakes and I’ve tried to apply that to everybody I’ve worked with. As much as I have learned from them about what to do, I’ve also learned what not to do.

Avil Beckford: Describe one of your biggest failures. What lessons did you learn, and how did it contribute to a greater success?

evin Popović: One of my biggest failures was a very early entrepreneurial effort I had called Fairytales Productions. We were going to do event marketing for skateboard manufacturers. On the west coast we were going to do events on the east coast where they didn’t have that great of a presence. I put together a very large contest, and Wendy’s was going to be a sponsor and give us $5,000 toward the promotion. Everything got booked and three days beforehand, I find out that Wendy’s has changed their mind, they are not going to give me $5,000 in money, they are going to give me $5,000 in sandwich coupons. Vendors did not want to be paid in sandwich coupons. So it was a disaster and I ended up closing the company, and what I learned is to get everything in writing no matter who the relationship is with.

Avil Beckford: What has been your biggest disappointment in your life – and what are you doing to prevent its reoccurrence?

Kevin Popović: I don’t think there is a biggest, there is a bunch of little ones and I think you learn from each one. You get your hands slapped, or your fingers burnt and you pay attention and try not to do what you did to get your hands slapped or to burn your fingers. Eyes wide open going into situations and no excuses coming out of them. You make constant decisions and you have to live with the consequences.

Avil Beckford: What’s one of the toughest decisions you’ve had to make and how did it impact your life?

Kevin Popović: I worked with one of my best friends to start a business. I learned that this best friend had embezzled money from the company, and I gave him the chance to fix what he had broken. He didn’t take me up on the opportunity so I had him arrested and pressed charges. It reminded me that there is a difference between personal relationships and business relationships, and that when you mix the two, and you will, each has their own responsibilities. That’s what I learned.

Avil Beckford: What are three events that helped to shape your life?

Kevin Popović:

1. Getting beat up at the age of 15 for shooting my mouth off to somebody I had no business shooting my mouth off to. This taught me to watch what you say to people and who you say it to.
2. The birth of my two daughters.

Avil Beckford: What’s an accomplishment that you are proudest of?

Kevin Popović: Ideahaus! My company is my proudest professional accomplishment and it continues to be a source of adventure, personal inspiration and a platform to explore and help others.

Avil Beckford: How did mentors influence your life?

Kevin Popović: I’ve had a couple of mentors. My father has been a good mentor to me as a professor of marketing. My grandmother has been a mentor to me. She sold shoes for 30 years. Michael Bosworth, sales legend and author of Solutions Selling, Customer Centric Selling and Story Leaders has been a mentor to me in the way that I approach sales and how I present myself, or professional opportunities.

Avil Beckford: What’s one core message you received from your mentors?

Kevin Popović: Know what you are doing before you go into it.

Avil Beckford: An invisible mentor is a unique leader you can learn things from by observing them from afar, in the capacity of an Invisible Mentor, what is one piece of advice that you would give to readers?

Kevin Popović: Don’t believe your own bullshit. I select that word purposely. I find that a lot of entrepreneurs, and a lot of young people, particularly when they have some raw skills, and some raw talent, think very highly of themselves, and you need to have confidence, and then with some initial success and one or two people telling you that you did a great job, many of these people get inflated egos and start believing these things and let it distract them from learning and being better, and creating better opportunities. That’s what I think they should pay attention to.

How can you use this information? What do you have to add to the conversation? Let’s keep the conversation flowing, please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

Interviewee Name: John Fink, Chief Financial Officer

Company Name: Dinosaur Restaurants

Website: http://www.dinosaurbarbque.com

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

John Fink: I was raised in a small town in Wisconsin, kind of a company town. My dad was my hero and is to this day even though he’s passed on. My life has generally been about adventure and achievement and I guess that may sound kind of strange, but that’s the way I like to position it. I was the valedictorian of my high school class and a letterman athlete, graduated college with high honors, was the President of my college fraternity, passed the CPA exam on the first shot, was a VP for a company by the age of 28 and became a CFO at 35.  I moved from Wisconsin to Florida to Missouri back to Florida to New York City back to Florida to Wisconsin to New York State. I have an amazing wife who shares my love of adventure, we have a couple of kids who give me the gift of love and laughter every day, and I’m really looking forward to the future.

Avil Beckford: What’s a typical day like for you?

John Fink: I get up at about 6:30 am and I do what I need to do to get ready for the day.   Then, I like to make breakfast for my little girl. I make her pancakes or biscuits, or scrambled eggs.  I have some sort of focus on making breakfast for her. She is in kindergarten and I like to get her off well fed. I usually drive to work after that, work hard all day and typically have lunch at my desk.  After work, I head home and we have supper together because that’s a big thing in our family. We focus on that and I really enjoy it, and that’s how I learn about everybody else’s day. Then it’s my job after supper to walk the dog. I typically play with the kids and we put them to bed. I spend an hour or an hour and a half to make coffee and my lunch for the next day, catch up on the news, do any emails I need to do, have a period of reflection then go to bed.

Avil Beckford: How do you motivate yourself and stay motivated?

John Fink: Quite a few years ago I came across Steven Covey’s book and I internalized the saying to begin with the end in mind. I stay motivated because I want to look back on my life some day and I want to be able to have the satisfaction that I pushed as hard as I could and did as much as I could, and went as far as I could and I didn’t create my own barriers.   I also tend to be in an environment where others are counting on me, so I guess I don’t have to motivate myself.    If others are counting on me, I don’t want to let them down.

Avil Beckford: If you had to start over from scratch, knowing what you know now, what would you do differently?

John Fink: As a younger person, I would have a hobby or some sort of avocation to pursue rather than casting around as kids do. Perhaps playing a musical instrument,  a sport,  or learn a language or something. Certainly, by the time I reached high school, I would focus hard on learning another language and would continue with it to college. I believe that’s critical in today’s world, people being as mobile as they are. I would certainly shoot for the stars as far as college selection, I would work harder at that. Kids at 17, 18 have a tough situation in that they have to make decisions that will impact them significantly throughout the remainder of their lives and they have to do it in a very short period of time without a lot of life experience.   I’d certainly work harder at choosing a college that gave me every opportunity.   Then I’d get an advanced degree immediately.  Sometimes people think they’ll leave college and enter the workforce and go back later, but it doesn’t happen, so I’d continue on and get the advanced degree immediately. I’d network or pay attention to networking much earlier in my career, and I’d try harder for a non-US job assignment early in my career.

Avil Beckford: What’s the most important business or other discovery you’ve made in the past year?

John Fink: My wife and I adopted a son from Russia and we brought him home in June, and we also adopted our daughter from Russia and brought her home just after Christmas 2008.   As a result, one of the things I’ve learned in the last year is that kids don’t make linear progress when they are learning.   Time goes by when you think they are not picking up much of anything, and then all of a sudden they make a big jump in their abilities. It turns out that kids are always observing, but don’t always let you know when they pick something up. They choose the time and place and the way they let you know that they’ve learned something.

Avil Beckford: What’s one of the biggest advances in your industry over the past five years?

John Fink: It would be the concept of the fast-casual restaurant. I find it fascinating that there is a new genre of restaurant or type of customer intervention that makes people somehow feel special while being processed through a cafeteria line, carrying their food to a seat, dispensing their own drink and bussing their own table. It’s definitely a  new sector of our industry that came up over the past five years and it’s really quite interesting.

Avil Beckford: What are the three threats to your business, your success, and how are you handling them?

John Fink:

Avil Beckford: What’s unique about the service that you provide?

John Fink: I think it’s a combination. I think it’s the cuisine we provide which is legitimate, genuine cuisine that cannot be shortcut. It’s also the environment, which is authentic in terms of its decor. It’s a rough, roadhouse feel that is legitimate in the fact that we locate our restaurants in non-traditional areas, we outfit our restaurants in such a fashion that it gives the customer a feeling of possibility along the lines of a roadhouse type environment, but at the same time it’s safe. And last but not least, it’s the guest experience. We treat customers like adults. We don’t bring cheerleaders or kindergarten teachers to their tables and tell them the latest gimmick on the menu to get a free appetizer if you order just the right entree. You tell the server what you’d like and he or she gets it. It’s not a sanitized version of some other great experience, it IS the great experience.

Avil Beckford: What do you observe most people in your field doing badly that you think you do well?

John Fink: I’d say keeping the overall goal in mind and not getting caught up in the process. We desire at Dinosaur to create a customer environment and experience that brings them back, and  we understand it’s a combination of the food, which we’re unapologetic about. We are not going to get caught up in the process of becoming a sort of trendy, green, health conscious, all-things-to-all-people sort of deliverable. We are a legitimate barbecue place, and that keeps us relevant.    We are going to do the best we can to execute against that. We are not going to try to broaden our demographic by watering down our product.   We deliver the finest barbecue that we can, and continue to do that every day.   As long as customers like barbeque, we are set.

Avil Beckford: Describe a major business or other challenge you had and how you resolved it. What kind of lessons did you learn in the process?

John Fink: The most recent challenge would be a year and a half ago, I found myself in  a position professionally that was too comfortable. I was not challenged. I had limited prospects for growth and I had a high level of risk of going soft. As a result, I opened my mind to consider other opportunities, and an opportunity presented itself.  There was risk, because the opportunity  happened to be halfway across the country from where we lived.    I discussed the opportunity with my family, we agreed, and we moved and I took the new job.

Avil Beckford: Tell me about your big break and who gave you.

John Fink: It would be Tom Silveri. Tom was the CFO of Drake Beam Morin, and I worked for him. Tom gave me more responsibility at a relatively early age than my credentials and age warranted.  He put me in front of heavyweight individuals, decision-makers, and learned professionals, and to some degree he let me swim or sink. He didn’t bury me in the engine room or make me wait my turn or otherwise keep me away from the action, and I thank him for that.    That allowed me to see and be around individuals at senior positions and watch them and see what made them tick, and how they thought. It advanced my career significantly.

Avil Beckford: What’s one of the toughest decisions you’ve had to make and how did it impact your life?

John Fink: I had to fire a friend of mine.  I was working in an organization for a long time and I had a co-worker, a peer, and we developed a strong friendship. At one point I was promoted and  took charge of a group of individuals, and he was one of the individuals. Things changed within the organization, the structure changed, the ownership changed, the capitalization changed, the very mission of the organization changed. My friend was a good guy, a good performer, a valuable individual, but the organization had changed and didn’t need his particular skill set at his location anymore. I had to make the tough decision, I had to let him go and it was very difficult, and it hurt him.   While this friend of mine was an outstanding guy, I couldn’t put his feelings, his well-being, ahead of all others.   He’s since gone on and done extremely well.

Avil Beckford: What are three events that helped to shape your life?

John Fink:

Avil Beckford: What’s an accomplishment that you are proudest of?

John Fink: I believe I am a decent father, a good dad. My kids are why I do what I do.    I want them to be safe and happy and loved.   I put a priority on that.   I can’t claim it necessarily, because my kids will judge many years from now, but I believe that I’m a decent dad.   Beyond that, I’ve had a good academic record and I’ve had a great career so far, so I’m proud of those as well

Avil Beckford: How did mentors influence your life?

John Fink: When I was young, early in my career, I was a very intense individual. I had a very strong view of how I felt things should be, and mentors softened me at points when I needed to take a different perspective. They prevented me from making some rash decisions or perhaps being too blunt or too fixed in my views. They helped me keep my eye on long-term goals and not let either my ego or my view of the world get in the way.

Avil Beckford: What’s one core message you received from your mentors?

John Fink: I think the most valuable message that I’ve ever received, is to be slow to bruise and quick to heal, and not hold grudges.   You simply must work with others to accomplish objectives. You can be idealistic about the ultimate goal, whether that’s a business or personal success, however you define it, but not the steps or the process or the people involved in getting there.

Avil Beckford: An invisible mentor is a unique leader you can learn things from by observing them from afar, in the capacity of an Invisible Mentor, what is one piece of advice that you would give to readers?

John Fink: It’s not anything new or groundbreaking, but it’s the old axiom that you have two eyes, two ears, and one mouth. People pay big money for training seminars, executive coaches, and other types of interventions, when in fact there is a live training session happening in front of you every day. Wherever you are, whatever business you are in, watch the successful people, the heavy-hitters. Take the good from them. Accept the fact that most times the heavy-hitters got there by earning it. They are not there because of a lucky break that you didn’t get. You can’t always do it better than they can.   Don’t co-exist with these people, watch them, observe them, figure out what’s important to them, what they focus on every day, how they react to certain situations, and take that in.   Make your own judgment about whether you are going to use it or not, but observe it and take it in.

How can you use this information? What do you have to add to the conversation? Let’s keep the conversation flowing, please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

Interviewee Name: Delane Cooper, Goldsmith

Company Name: Delane

Website: http://www.delane.ca

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Delane Cooper: I am a goldsmith and jewellery designer. I used to be in technology for a couple of decades helping build datacentres. I started off in California, lived in New York, got married and moved here to Toronto.

Avil Beckford: What’s a typical day like for you?

Delane Cooper: Workout, meditate when I can, have a great breakfast, then prepare for client meetings or work at my jewellery bench.

Avil Beckford: How do you motivate yourself and stay motivated?

Delane Cooper: I have a dream of being a philanthropist and in doing so it drives me to do well at my business so I may be able to contribute to society and help other children. That keeps me motivated.

Avil Beckford: If you had to start over from scratch, knowing what you know now, what would you do differently?

Delane Cooper: I’m going to interpret this question regarding my career change. So it would be having the courage to do it sooner.

Avil Beckford: What’s the most important business or other discovery you’ve made in the past year?

Delane Cooper: It is a discovery about myself. There used to be a disconnect between my age and the sound of my voice. I sounded like I was 16 years old apparently, and what it took was going on a climb on Mt. Kilimanjaro, and at the top, one of the ladies I climbed with said, “Delane, why is it that you’re 39 years old, but you sound like a little girl?” And that gave me pause to reflect. So when I returned home to Toronto, I sought out a voice coach, and as a result, my life has changed immensely. There is a better connection between my voice and my age, which has resulted in acceptance and the development of new friends.

Avil Beckford: What’s one of the biggest advances in your industry over the past five years?

Delane Cooper: I would have to say the use of computers especially with computer aided design, being able to take away some of the design aspect from drawing on paper to putting it on to computers.

Avil Beckford: What are the three threats to your business, your success, and how are you handling them?

Delane Cooper:

1. Being boring: It’s about making time to be creative.
2. Complacency: Making sure that every day is a new day and reinterpreting myself and asking myself every day, “What will I do to reinvent Delane today?”
3. Paying attention to running my business: I sought out a business coach that I meet with once a month and we discuss all facets of my business – from financial to marketing, and she keeps me on track and makes sure that I am running my business and not forgetting that this is a business and not just a creative venture.

Avil Beckford: What’s unique about the service that you provide?

Delane Cooper: Listening to a client’s dream or aspiration, and sometimes the symbolism of what a piece of jewellery is supposed to mean to them, and then taking that story and interpreting it into a visual piece of wearable art.

Avil Beckford: What do you observe most people in your field doing badly that you think you do well?

Delane Cooper: Listen….Listen…..and…Listen!

Avil Beckford: Describe a major business or other challenge you had and how you resolved it. What kind of lessons did you learn in the process?

Delane Cooper: Financing my business without a full-time job, which meant that I had to find clients. And fortunately, finding clients I did. What was holding me back was my fear, and it was taking that leap in believing in myself and being able to say, “I’m going to take on this career as being a jewellery designer and goldsmith full-time, accepting it and owning it.

My fear was holding me back, and that was the lesson, knowing everybody has fear, but being able to face it, say it’s okay and moving forward with it.

Avil Beckford: Tell me about your big break and who gave you.

Delane Cooper: A friend’s husband commissioned me to make their 42^nd wedding anniversary ring and this was the biggest compliment, especially since this gentleman is known amongst a group of friends to have excellent taste in jewellery. This to me was the ultimate compliment to be asked to make a ring for his wife. His name is Bruce Vachon and I will always be eternally grateful for the opportunity, and Mary wears this ring every day. It’s such a joy to know that friends wanted me to make something to be part of their lives for the rest of their lives.

Avil Beckford: Describe one of your biggest failures. What lessons did you learn, and how did it contribute to a greater success?

Delane Cooper: I will go back to the fear of being an entrepreneur. The lesson is that everyone who is an entrepreneur experiences fear. It’s about how one deals with it. Feeling the fear is acceptable, and living behind it is not acceptable. I feel the fear every day, but it’s that joy of waking up and saying, “Hey, it’s okay. I’m doing what I love though.”

Avil Beckford: What has been your biggest disappointment in your life – and what are you doing to prevent its reoccurrence?

Delane Cooper: Letting the fear of being an entrepreneur hold me back, recognizing that failure is possible but it’s not inevitable. What I do is have a lot of positive quotations in my designing journal, and my studio that remind me that fear is okay, failure is okay because sometime in order to get the design I was looking for it’s failing many times at the same design to have the right design.

Avil Beckford: What’s one of the toughest decisions you’ve had to make and how did it impact your life?

Delane Cooper: Letting go of the full-time job which had the full-time paycheque, and how it impacted me is that I was not able to go out and buy the cute shoes that I wanted. There is something to be said about drive and being driven to be in a position to get back to what a paycheque could have been like. But this time it is a business that I am running and I can make those types of purchases because I earned it and did it on my own.

Avil Beckford: What are three events that helped to shape your life?

Delane Cooper:

Delane Cooper:

1. Being adopted when I was 15 ½ years old.
2. Getting married
3. Being a jewellery designer/goldsmith.

Avil Beckford: What’s an accomplishment that you are proudest of?

Delane Cooper: Running my business Delane.

Avil Beckford: How did mentors influence your life?

Delane Cooper: There are so many mentors. I would say there are two key lessons. One is listen, listen and listen again, and the second is always to ask both of these questions – ask why and why not?

Avil Beckford: What’s one core message you received from your mentors?

Delane Cooper: Teach yourself to see what others do not see so you will know what others do not know.

Avil Beckford: An invisible mentor is a unique leader you can learn things from by observing them from afar, in the capacity of an Invisible Mentor, what is one piece of advice that you would give to readers?

Delane Cooper: Everyone experiences fear, just go out and live your passion, just do it.

How can you use this information? What do you have to add to the conversation? Let’s keep the conversation flowing, please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.